Transcriptions

Transcriptions for each episode can be found here. A link to an episode's transcription can also be found in the description of every episode.

Episode Transcriptions

Episodes are ordered from newest to oldest. Click on an episode's title to go to the transcription.

Episode Twenty-Six: Vae’s Rescue

    The party has finally reached the end of the line in the cultists’ hideout. The deeper they go, the more dangers they discover. And unfortunately for them, the creatures they must face in order to rescue their friend are what nightmares are made of. In this episode, Mogan faces his fears, Vae tries to run, and Snow and Jerome have a heart to heart. 

    
   Note: Due to real life obligations, Selah, Leif’s player, could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

    Content warning for profanity, violence, blood, emotional distress, tense situations, unreality, and peril.

Episode Twenty-Five: Vae’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Part Four

 

Our party’s adventure through the Mask Cultist hideout continues in this episode. As they venture deeper into the depths in the search for their lost party member, they will face threats both human and supernatural. In this episode, Kareus’s strength leaves him, Ele and Snow reunite, and Mask’s monsters come out to play.

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, Selah, Leif’s player, could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

 

Content warning for profanity, violence, blood, emotional distress, animal harm, nonexplicit descriptions of animal cruelty, tense situations, and peril.

Episode Twenty-Four: Vae’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Part Three

 

Although the Vox mobilized to come to Vae’s aid, they quickly find themselves neck-deep in danger, fighting the cultists that have taken Vae captive. With tensions still running high in the group and both Vae and Leif out of reach, the outcome of this battle is uncertain. And, unfortunately, the outcome of this battle could also be the difference between life and death for poor Vae.

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, Selah, Leif’s player, could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

 

Content warning for profanity, violence, blood, emotional distress, tense situations and peril.

Episode Twenty-Three: Vae’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Part Two

 

Vae’s very bad day continues in this episode, as the whispers in her head come back to demand more. Before long Vae finds herself in very hot water indeed, with the rest of the party being none the wiser of her predicament. Can the remainder of the Vox find their friend before it’s too late?

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, Selah, Leif’s player, could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

Content warning for profanity, unreality, auditory horror, emotional distress, choking, violence, tense situations, and peril.

Episode Twenty-Two: Vae’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Part One

 

Still recovering from the events of the last few episodes, Vae spends this episode trying very hard to get some well-deserved rest. Unfortunately for her, her mysterious dreams and visions continue to worsen, starting to take a physical toll on her as the voices in her head demand some particularly unsettling tasks. In this episode, Snow recovers from her hangover, Kareus learns more about his buddy Terry, and Vae’s nightmare has only just begun.

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, both Queen (Mogan’s player) and Selah (Leif’s player) could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

 

Content warning for profanity, unreality, auditory horror, and emotional distress.

Snow Gets A Date

Episode Twenty-One: Snow Gets a Date

 

After the trip to visit the fae artifacts with Valen ended on a not-so-great note, Snow headed off to try and cool down at a nearby tavern. In this Snow-focused episode, we see Snow buy some gloves off a totally-not-sketchy salesman, get into a bar fight and, most importantly, meet a very pretty lady.

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, both Queen (Mogan’s player) and Selah (Leif’s player) could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

 

Content warning for profanity, violence, blood, mild sexual harassment, and alcohol.

Episode Twenty: A Broken Mirror

 

With the argument of the last episode on everyone’s minds, the Vox is left to pick up the pieces of what remains of their team. With Mogan leaving the group to cool off and Leif called away by a mysterious letter, only four members of the Vox Anima are left to figure things out. To make matters worse, the relative peace of the past few days has shattered. Vae’s nightmares are bleeding into reality, and no longer limiting their shadowy influence to just her resting hours. In this episode, Kareus and Jerome make some peace, Snow tries to find some answers, and Vae begins a series of unfortunate events. 

 

Note: Due to real life obligations, both Queen (Mogan’s player) and Selah (Leif’s player) could not attend this session, and will not be present for today’s episode. Don’t worry, they’re (probably) not getting up to any trouble on their own.

 

Content warning for profanity, auditory horror, unreality, disturbing imagery and emotional distress.

Episode Nineteen: Jerome’s Confession

 

With errands completed and artifacts returned, the Vox settle down to work out some more…interpersonal conflicts. Kareus and Valen finally sit down and talk, and perhaps find some common ground. Unfortunately, the rest of the Vox aren’t so successful in their attempts at communication. In this episode, the brewing tensions between Jerome, Vae, and Snow finally boil over, and some ugly truths come to light.

 

Content warning for profanity, arguments, tense situations, and confrontation.

Episode Eighteen: The Vox Goes Shopping

 

Now safely in Wingston, the Vox spend the day together getting some more simple tasks done. They deliver the collected artifacts safely back to Valen, and while they’re at the museum Vae and Snow agree to look over some other elven and fae artifacts to check for authenticity. Kareus also asks Valen to meet him for lunch later that day. Then, the team heads to a magic shop to identify their new potions, to the general store to get some new outfits, and to the library to do some research. In this episode, Jerome gives an apology, Vae makes an interesting suggestion, and Mogan gets some disappointing news.

 

Content warning for profanity.

Episode Seventeen: Jack in the Box

 

After a few more discussions within the group, like what to do with the mysterious necklace Snow found in Tamrain’s office, the Vox Anima finally makes it safely back to Wingston. Once there, they arrive too late in the evening to bring the artifacts straight home, so everyone settles down for the night. Everyone except Jerome, who brings Jack out to play. In this episode, Snow makes her case, Mogan opens up, and Jack goes hunting for answers.

 

Content warning for tense situations, religious symbolism, and cults.

Episode Sixteen: Jerome Becomes A Father

 

When they finally reached the end of the Thistles hideout in the last episode, the Vox discovered an unpleasant surprise in the form of Vae’s old companion, Tamrain. Now faced with far more questions than they started with, the Vox interrogates another member of the Thistles, hoping to find some answers. That night, Vae also looks inward to find some solutions to her Tamrain-shaped problems. In this episode, Snow finds a mysterious necklace, Vae gets some advice, and Jerome discovers the joys of fatherhood.

 

Content warning for interrogations, intimidation, manipulation, and illness.

Episode Fifteen: Thistles and Weeds

 

In this final installment of the Vox’s adventure within the Thistle’s hideout, our adventurers work to gather the last of the missing artifacts. Before they reach the finish line, though, there’s some mystery potions to drink, cats to be pet, and old friends to reunite with. In this episode, Jerome digs his own grave, Mogan gets a certain glow about him, and Vae comes face to face with her past.

 

Content warning for violence, blood, mild descriptions of gore, tense situations, illness, and manipulation.

Episode Fourteen: Briars and Thorns

 

As the Vox’s adventure through the Thistle’s mysterious and dangerous hideout continues, tensions rise within the group. Mogan finds his way back to his team just in time to join in on a few stressful fights, both the physical and emotional kind. The Vox rush to get the last of the artifacts collected for Valen before the tension snaps. In this episode, Vae and Jerome take a fall, everyone copes poorly, and Jerome crosses a line.

 

Content warning for violence, blood, mild descriptions of gore, internal conflict, tense situations, violence against animals and animal death.

Episode Thirteen: Blood and Bone

 

Now officially neck deep in the Thistles hideout, the Vox has their first combat encounter since our first episode. Things get tense quick as they try to sneak their way through the dungeon and uncover the motivations of the thieves. To make matters worse, there’s also tensions rising within the Vox themselves…In this episode, Jerome puts on a new face, Vae finds another mask, and Snow discovers something new about herself.

 

Note: Due to real-life obligations, Queen, Mogan’s player, could not attend this session and will not be present in this episode. Don’t worry, he’s (probably) not getting up to any trouble on his own.

 

Content warning for violence, blood, mild descriptions of gore, internal conflict, and tense situations.

Episode Twelve: Kareus Says Goodbye

 

After their night at the museum, the Vox and Valen prepare for their newest mission of finding the bandit group, the Thistles. Vae, Kareus, and Leif spend the day gathering as much information as they can find about the group, and end up meeting a very opinionated bird. When they’re finally ready to hit the road, things are once again slowed by a long-awaited confrontation. In this episode, Snow learns how to play Solitaire, Vae’s visions and dreams continue to increase in intensity, and Kareus and Valen try to reckon with their past. 

 

Note: Due to real-life obligations, Queen, Mogan’s player, could not attend this session and will not be present in this episode. Don’t worry, he’s (probably) not getting up to any trouble on his own.

 

Content warning for profanity, unreality, disturbing imagery, blood, auditory horror, and nonexplicit description of animal cruelty and death.

Episode Eleven: A Night at the Museum

 

With plans to head after the bandit group the Thistles the next day, the Vox settles in for the night in Wingston. While the two tieflings head back to the guild to rest and recuperate after the stress of the day, Vae, Snow, and Jerome stay the night at the museum. Although Snow and Jerome have a fairly uneventful night, Vae sees some disturbing visions… In this episode, Jerome does some breaking and entering, Kareus opens up about his past, and Vae learns what nightmares are like.

 

Note: Due to real-life obligations, Queen, Mogan’s player, could not attend this session and will not be present in this episode. Don’t worry, he’s (probably) not getting up to any trouble on his own.


Content warning for profanity, unreality, mild gore, disturbing imagery, and auditory horror.

Episode Ten: The Team Torments A Curator

 

After completing their mission in the temple of Ishtishia, the Vox Anima now makes their way to Wingston to meet with the curator who hired them. Unfortunately for them (and for him) it turns out that the curator isn’t a stranger at all to one member of the group, and things get very awkward, very fast. In this episode, Snow and Jerome let their suspicions get the best of them, the Vox gets another job offer, and Kareus reunites with a… friend? 

 

Content warning for profanity.

The Vox Anima find themselves exploring a strange temple filled with mysteries, traps, and probably not necessary blood sacrifices. Together, the team must work together to solve puzzles and recover the artifacts they were sent to find. In this episode, Mogan does a trust exercise, Jerome puts on his charm, the team meets some ghosts, and Vae makes a mistake. 

 

Content warning for profanity, unreality, blood, and auditory horror.

Now reunited, the Vox Anima decides their next course of action. Our team decides to head out to investigate the strange temple they’ve heard so much about and afterwards recover the artifacts for their new job. Before they even make it to that temple though, they receive a threatening note, summon some furry friends, and have some serious conversations. In this episode, Jerome adjusts to his newfound magic, Leif tries desperately to bond with his new familiar, and the Vox finds a mysterious abandoned town. 

 

Content warning for profanity, brief unreality, and mild gore. 

Once again, the Vox finds themselves back in Wellspring, and looking for a new adventure. Before they make any decisions about where to head next though, they have a few errands to run… and some chaos to cause. In this episode, Jerome learns some new skills, Leif goes on the ride of a lifetime, Snow misses some crucial context, and Mogan finally comes home.

 

Content warning for profanity.

When our favorite dark and mysterious half-orc wandered off a few episodes ago, nobody was quite sure what happened to him. In this special episode of Critically Chaotic, we take a quick glance back into the past to see just what trouble Mogan got into while on his own. In this episode, Xaan takes Q ueen and Mogan on a one-shot adventure, which includes a mysterious halfing, traps, and revelations. 

 

Content warning for profanity, violence, fire, unreality, emotional distress, and tense situations. 

After discovering that the peaceful orc family they met in the last episode was hiding a dark secret, the Vox have to find a way to rescue their charge without getting themselves or anyone else killed. But is this situation as black-and-white as it appears? In this episode, Leif makes a dangerous mistake, Kareus takes a fall, and Vae makes a new friend.

 

Note: Due to real-life obligations, Queen, Mogan’s player, could not attend this session and will not be present in this episode. Don’t worry, he’s (probably) not getting up to any trouble on his own.

 

Content warning for profanity, tense situations, and discussions of violence.

Now official members of the Mercenary’s guild, the Vox Anima chooses their first job as a certified party. Their newest adventure is your traditional damsel-in-distress situation: a beautiful maiden, kidnapped by trolls! But when they arrive at the Quall plains, all our heroes find is a seemingly peaceful orc family and a lot of questions. In this episode, Jerome experiences some consequences, Kareus and Leif learn how to gamble, and Snow gets a bad feeling.​

 

Content warning for profanity, gambling, tense situations, illness, and discussion of animal violence.

After finally making it safely to Wellspring, our haggard adventurers at last get a chance to kick back and relax, as well as make a decision about whether or not they will become an official party within the Mercenary Guild. In this episode, Vae suggests a game, Jerome enjoys some questionable scones, Leif is haunted by their past, and the group chooses a name.

Content warning for profanity and alcohol.

After the local big, dark, and brooding half-orc Mogan went missing while escaping the forest fire, our heroes must double back to find their charming friend. In this episode, Vae and Snow conduct an interrogation, Mogan finds an interesting painting and a nest, and Mr. Falls makes a tempting offer.

Content warning for profanity, manipulation, and fire.

In this pilot episode of Critically Chaotic, six unlikely heroes meet on one seemingly run-of-the-mill job. Unfortunately for them, fate had other plans in mind. Join our chaotic heroes on their adventure as they deal with ambushes, forest fires, kidnappings, and the complete obliteration of a bandit or two.

Content warning for profanity, mild violence, fire, and peril.